75 Ways to Stay Unhappy Forever

by Marc

Dale Carnegie once said,
“It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It’s what you think about.”

I don’t think anyone could say it any better than that.

I’ve watched so many friends search tirelessly for happiness by changing jobs, moving to new cities, pursuing intimate relationships, and tweaking all sorts of other external factors in their lives.

And guess what? They’re still unhappy.

Why? Because they spend all of their time and money adding positive externals to their lives when their internals are still in the negatives.

So with that in mind, here are 75 ways to stay unhappy forever.

Of course, I would highly recommend you read each point and then move swiftly in the opposite direction.

1 Dwell on things that happened in the past.
2 Obsess yourself with all the things that might happen in the future.
3 Complain about problems. Never take the necessary steps to resolve them.
4 Fear change and resist it.
5 Work hard, do your best. Then condemn yourself for not being perfection.

6 Belittle yourself.
7 Hang out with other people who belittle you.
8 Try to control everything and then worry about the things you can’t control.
9 Lie to yourself and those around you.
10 Keep doing the same thing over and over again.

11 Be lazy and follow the path of least resistance.
12 Hold on to anger. Never forgive anyone.
13 Always be right. Never let anyone else be more right than you.
14 Compare yourself unfavourably to those you see as more successful.
15 Let small issues snowball into big problems.

16 Never learn anything new.
17 Never take responsibility for your own actions.
18 Blame everyone around you.
19 Don’t ask for directions and don’t ask questions.
20 Don’t let anyone to help you.

21 Quit when the going gets tough.
22 Be suspicious. Trust no one.
23 Get four hours of sleep every night and convince yourself that it’s enough.
24 Never throw anything away. Even if you don’t use it, hold onto it.
25 Say “yes” to everyone. Fill all your time with commitments.

26 Try to be everyone’s friend.
27 Multitask, multitask, multitask! Do everything at once.
28 Never spend any time alone.
29 Don’t help others unless you have to. Do only what benefits you directly.
30 Hang out with people who complain about everything.

31 Focus on what you don’t want to happen.
32 Fear the things you don’t fully understand.
33 Always seek validation before you consider yourself good enough.
34 Take everything and everyone in life seriously.
35 Spend your life working in a career field you aren’t passionate about.

36 Focus on the problems.
37 Think about all the things you don’t have.
38 Read or watch lots of depressing news from broadcast media.
39 Set lofty goals for yourself and never do anything to achieve them.
40 Never exercise.

41 Only eat junk food and fried food.
42 Never check-up on your health.
43 Setup your lifestyle so it revolves around money.
44 Spend more than you earn and rack up lots of financial debt.
45 Don’t say what you mean. Don’t mean what you say.

46 Frown.
47 Never tell anyone how you feel or what you’re thinking.
48 Make sure everything you do impresses someone else.
49 Always put your own needs on the back burner.
50 Get involved in other people problems and make them your own.

51 Make others feel bad about themselves.
52 Watch TV for several hours every day.
53 Gamble often. *
54 Stay in the same place. Don’t travel.
55 Don’t play, just work.

56 Let your hobbies go.
57 Let your close relationships go.
58 Never finish what you start.
59 Take everything personally.
60 Do lots of drugs. Drink lots of alcohol.*

61 Never say, “I’m sorry.” Never say, “I love you.”
62 Don’t work hard at anything.
63 Always wait until the last minute.
64 Believe that, no matter what, you are entitled to things.
65 Let others make decisions for you.

66 Remember the insults. Forget the compliments.
67 Let it all bottle up inside.
68 Rely on others for everything.
69 Fail to plan.
70 Don’t dream.

71 Don’t think about the future at all.
72 Always disregard other people’s opinions and suggestions.
73 Make promises you can’t keep.
74 Don’t decide on anything, ever.
75 Just keep going and going and going. And never ever stop.

And now that you know what not to do, let me tell you a secret about happiness.

Nobody is happy all of the time.

It’s perfectly normal to experience considerable fluctuations in your level of happiness from day to day, month to month, and even year to year.

In fact, according to a recent scientific study, overall levels of happiness decline from one’s teens until one’s 40s and then pick up again until they peak in one’s early 70s.

The chances are that your happiest days are yet to come.
Hopefully that gives you something to smile about.

“I count him braver who overcomes his desire than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” - Aristotle

I complained to my father that I didn't seem to be able to do things the same way other people did.
Dad's advice? "Margo don't be a sheep. People hate sheep. They eat sheep." - Margo Kaufman

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain

* Gamble only on sanely thought out (usually non-money) ventures for rational reasons.

* Consult your Doctor about any drugs you take. Never drinking alcohol is better for you.

Anger... Change

Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the Mind... You can’t change the past, but You can ruin the present by worrying over the future...

Failure

"Failure is so important... Rock bottom wasn't fun at all. But it was liberating."
JK Rowling

The "Happy" Test

* Do you find it hard to set goals for yourself?
* Does the future seem bleak?
* Do you prefer being alone?
* Do you have few hobbies?
* Do you dwell on the past?
* Do you rely on alcohol, caffeine and sugary snacks for a "lift"?
* Are you a pessimist?
* Would you like to change your looks or personality?
* Do you dislike your job?
* Are you in a bad relationship?

Count up your "yes" answers.

Score: 0
You are fortunate - you love life.

Score 1 - 3
Your life looks pretty good. You still need to make a little extra effort.

Score 4 - 7
Good start. You also need to do more to fulfil your happiness potential.

Score 8 - 10
You are generally unhappy. Reassess your life and lifestyle. Consider visiting with a counsellor. Gradually reverse your negative thinking processes.

Some things you might like to work with every day:

Accept yourself as you are.
Celebrate the good things about yourself.
Share some good news every day.
Look for good things in others around you.
Convert negative thoughts - reword them into positive sentiments.
Surround yourself with the colours: orange, turquoise, green, violet - these colours enhance your mood when you need an attitude -lift.
Exercise aerobically for at least 30 minutes every other day - trigger the release of your body's feel-good chemicals and endorphins.
Set yourself attainable goals. Reach them. Keep your aims small to begin with.
Dance more. Move your body more - to music!
Avoid eating sugary snacks - they give you an instant boost and then your body plummets lower than you were to begin with.
Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables and whole foods.
Avoid alcohol and caffeine.
Sleep enough most nights.

Emotionally-skillful people thrive and have better relationships.
Contented people have a more fulfilling life.
Happy people enjoy their work more.
Cheerful people find more joy in their every-day life.

Become more optimistic and positive.
Apply more of these success-disciplines in your life.
Improve your general outlook on life - your life.

"Out of small persistent daily efforts proceeds great annual progress..."

Western Times - April 1999